Selling Holley Carburetors

Over the years I have sold thousands of Holley Carburetors. Inevitably some would be returned as "alleged" defectives. Usually this meant that the customer didn't know how to properly install the thing. I got used to explaining the proper installation procedure every time I received the call.
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"Did you check for vaccuum leaks?"
That eliminated about 40% of the problems.
"Did you set the fuel bowl level?"
That eliminated another 40%.
"Did you install a new in-line fuel filter?"
That eliminated most of the rest.
But on one particularly hot summer day I received a call about an "alleged" defective carburetor that perplexed me for a few seconds until I realized the significance of the callers question.


"I bought a carb from you earlier today," he drawled, "and it's defective. And I want to know what you're gonna do about it. I travelled 90 miles to get this carb and I'll be damned if I'm gonna drive another 90 to return it. You're just gonna have ta' send me a replacement via Next Day Air and a call tag for this here defect."
"Well," I replied, "before I send another maybe you can tell me what your carb is doing that makes it defective?"
He answered, "It won't go on because the linkage was made on the wrong side."
I stopped and thought for about three seconds then said, in my best non-smart-alecky voice "hmmmm, let me think about this a second,.....hmmmmmm,..... maybe you should try turning the carb around?"
There was an agonizingly long silence from his end until I finally heard a large intake of air followed by "You must think I'm a damned idiot?"
I didn't know if I should agree or not.
Another "alleged" defect saved.